World War G
by Tanya Tsuki
Summary: All is going well until Francis decides to sport a different pair of glasses. Who knew it would lead to WWIII?


Arthur let out a sigh as he heard the door to his office click open. The only one who ever bothered to pick the lock instead of just knocking and asking to come in was Francis.

Sure enough, Arthur turned around and there was Francis, grinning cockily…but there was something different about him. What was it?

"What do you want, frog?" Arthur snapped. What was different?

"Oh, nothing. Just visiting my favorite bushy browed neighbor," Francis sang, his gaze never leaving Arthur's face.

"Francis." There.

"Yes, _mon petit_?"

"What are you wearing?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Francis told him in a tone that said 'I know exactly what you're talking about but I'm not saying.'

"Those!" Arthur pointed to the pair of glasses sitting on Francis' face. And not just any glasses. _Alfred_'s glasses. "Those glasses. Why are you wearing those?"

"Why not? They're very stylish and—"

"Those are Alfred's!"

Francis looked truly shocked at the accusation. "Wha-what?"

"Those are Alfred's glasses! How could you, you frog? You stole Texas from him?! You didn't even like Texas!" Arthur was turning red as his voice increased in volume.

"Arthur—"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Francis, sensing his life in danger, wisely left.

Fuming, Arthur retook his seat, muttering something about idiots and— "Damn it! He still has Texas!"

---

"Hey, bro!" Alfred called out upon seeing Matthew walking to his door. "What brings you here?"

"Quebec is missing," the northern Nation told him, looking upset and oddly, without his glasses.

"What are you talking about? A huge area of land can't just jump up and walk away. It's just not possible!"

"…Alfred…you can be an idiot sometimes, you know that? My _glasses_ are missing."

"…I knew that!" Matthew shot him a skeptical look. "Whaaaat? I did! Anyway, as a hero I'm going to find them for you! Where'd you last have them?"

"I don't know I—"

_**__Oh, say can you see--**_

America grinned, pulling his cell phone out of a pocket. "Sorry Matt, one sec. Hello?" He listened for a moment and covered the mouth piece to whisper to his brother "It's the boss." Matthew looked concerned and nodded, watching as Alfred listened to him.

"…He what? Over Texas? But Texas is fine. … Uh huh. The whole continent of Europe? Hungary is cheering him on? …Over _Texas_? Uh huh. Uh huh," Alfred sighed, rolling his eyes. "Fine, yeah, I'll talk to him. Uh huh. 'k, bye." He hung up the phone and rubbed a hand through his hair. "I know where Quebec is."

Canada looked at him in surprise. "Do you?"

"Francis stole them to piss off Arthur. Arthur thinks it's Texas. Would you believe he just started World War III over my honor?"

"…He didn't."

"…He did."

"Are we going to England, then?"

"Yeah. Boss said the other leaders have managed to keep the Nations away from the explosive weapons…but there's apparently an epic sword fight underway in France."

"Wonderful."

---

A few hours later, the North American brothers had left the airport in France and had arrived at the site of the dueling Nations.

"Give it up, you frog! Don't you know that the world is—was— mine! I can beat you, no problem" Arthur shouted, lunging after Francis. Alfred and Matthew watched the attack in surprise, barely acknowledging when Elizaveta shouted "You show him, Arthur!"

"Oh please, _angleterre_, forty percent is hardly the same as one hundred percent," Francis gasped, blocking the thrust and ignoring Gilbert's shout to stop fighting Arthur and to help save him from the crazy bitch he was pitted against.

"Hey!" Alfred shouted, but the din of metal on metal drowned him out. "Hey!" He shouted over the roar of battle. A few heads turned, but the war continued on.

"Amateur," Matthew muttered before taking a deep breath. "IF YOU DON'T STOP FIGHTING NOW, I SWEAR I WILL CALL RUSSIA. HE WOULD LOVE TO USE WORLD WAR THREE TO MAKE YOU ALL _ONE WITH HIM_!"

The fighting died instantly, though Arthur shot his best death glare at France. "He deserves to die. We no longer live in a time of conquest. How _dare_ he take Texas in an unprovoked attack? I won't allow him to harm Alf—any of my former colonies!"

Alfred sighed and walked over to Arthur, placing his hands on the other's shoulders. "Arthur. Look at me. I still have Texas. Trust me, if someone tried to take my land, you would be the first to know."

Arthur looked up at his former colony, mouthing falling open when he saw that Alfred was, in fact, still in possession of Texas.

"While I am overjoyed that you care about my virtue so much," Arthur's embarrassment quickly turned to anger at Alfred's mocking tone, "Try to get the facts straight next time, yeah? France stole Quebec. Not Texas."

Arthur looked over Alfred's shoulder to wear Matthew was standing next to Francis, begging the other to give his glasses back. When the duo saw that Arthur was looking, Matthew gave a weak wave while Francis grinned before taking the glasses off and putting them on Matthew's face.

"…I see," Arthur said quietly. "Well, then. That was…a lot of fun. But, I'd best be going now. I'll see you all at the next summit meeting. Good day," he said quickly before pulling out from Alfred's grasp and starting to walk away. "Oh, and by the way, Francis?"

The addressed Nation looked at Arthur in curiosity, unconsciously tightening his hold on the sword still in his hand.

"Just because you stole Quebec instead of Texas doesn't mean anything, you bastard!"

Alfred sighed as he watched Arthur begin his offensive again. It was going to be a long night.


End file.
